Riddle Answer: The Ultimate Hipster Machine
Last week, we posted a riddle for what a hipster would drive. Many have speculated in the past on what the perfect hipster machine can be. There have been good choices, weird choices, and hilarious choices. We may never know if there really is one true hipster mobile to rule them all. But what we do know is that there’s one quirky car that’ll come closer than others. Click through the jump to find out our answer.
1992 Geo Metro XFI - 3 cylinders of pure non-performance
Surprised? We were definitely flabbergasted when we first heard the answer. But after stretching our brains and squinting our eyes, it’s clear that the Geo Metro checks all the right hipster boxes. It is authentic in it’s purpose as an economy car, but incredibly mediocre and unattractive to any normal person.
Nope, doesn't look any better from the rear
The Grandfather of Hard Plastics
The lowly Metro started life as a Suzuki Cultus in other markets before being transplanted in the US with as a GM product under the Geo name in 1989. It’s 1.0L three cylinder engine choked and sputtered all the way up to it’s 5100 RPM redline to achieve 55 HP. The particular trim level a real hipster would buy is the detuned XFI. That’s not a typo. The XFI sacrifices six horses to appease the fuel economy gods. The result: 43 mpg city and 51 mpg highway. Car and Driver published a comparison review with a 2010 Honda Insight, a 2010 Toyota Prius, and a 1998 Geo Metro. Guess who won the mileage comparison?
Exterior styling this bland hasn’t been attempted before or since. GM likely had a committee dedicated to ensuring the lowest possible list price at the expense of any stylish flair. A three year old with crayons can probably achieve a design more daring.
But it’s blandness and singularity in purpose is what makes the Metro the best hipster mobile. The next time you hear an anemic sounding engine pull up alongside you, glance over. Odds are good the driver will have an ugly haircut and a t-shirt with an ironic print.